


The Dragon's Forbidden Kiss

by AceyEnn



Series: Served Promptly [5]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Necrophilia, man-noodles, no seriously this was written as a joke omg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 12:46:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3120662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceyEnn/pseuds/AceyEnn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco enter the dragon. </p><p>(Spoiler alert, the dragon is Draco's dingaling.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dragon's Forbidden Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Chris Gore's fanfic comedy panel at SacAnime Winter 2015. Thanks, Mr. Gore, for allowing me this wonderful opportunity, and also many thanks to everyone at the panel, especially the two young women who played Draco and Harry!

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were bored.

 

Their once-active sex life had grown dull, lifeless. They only fucked once a day; who could live with THAT?

 

Harry pored over the Wizard Kama Sutra, his brain throbbing along with his peepee. He was so turned on, but how was he going to find a dragon for The Dragonfucker Deluxxxe Position, AKA a dragon threesome?

 

Then it hit him, much like the Dursleys would hit him, but less abusive. "Draco" was Latin for "dragon!" "Bloody shit!" Harry ejaculated. "How did I miss that?"

 

"Draco," he called over to Draco, who was across the room the whole time, "have you ever summoned a dragon?"

 

/Oh shit,/ Draco thought. /He knows my secret./

 

"No," he lied.

 

"You're bluffing."

 

Draco blushed OOCly. "My man-noodle...it can transform." He unclasped his trousers (AN: this is British so they say that) and whimpered, "Puff, I choose you."

 

On cue, his aching wiener became a purple dragon, 3 meters in length (AN: IDK how British measurements work, that's like 10 inches right??). "My God," Harry gasped, bonering even HARDER (lol geddit). "I'm gonna fuck the dragon."

 

Harry stripped sexily, and he entered the dragon like Bruce Lee. He used his wand (AN: a literal wand, don't get any ideas) to pleasure Draco's delicate asscunt; his boypussy; his anus.

 

The dragon bit.

 

"I'M DYING OF BLOOD LOSS," Harry moaned as he died of blood loss. Draco stared. 

 

He took Harry's corpse and flipped it turn-ways, penetrating the dead booty with Puff The Man-Dick Dragon, before he came like a porn star, fire-jizz erupting from the dragon's maw. LITERAL fire, that is.

 

It was truly the hottest thing in Hogwarts history.

 

THE END

 

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, if you were at the panel, let me know!


End file.
